Ed VS Sam
by Edo-chanluv
Summary: A little humurous story I found in some of my old files. It actually has nothing to do with my other story 'For the Love of a Bookstore' besides the fact that Samaantha is in it. But, it makes me laugh. So, enjoy!


I sat in the corner. No one would notice me there. At least, I hoped against hope that no one would notice me: sitting down, scrunched up in the tiny corner with the last pudding cup in my hands and a guilty look on my face. The spoon dangled precariously from my mouth.

Part of me rushed to finish the pudding and hide the evidence. The other, more dominant part said that pudding was meant to be savored. With each bite like a chocolatey spa ride to ecstasy.

I scooped another spoonful and put in in my mouth. Oh yeah. Ecstasy was an understatement for the magic of chocolate pudding. Enraptured by the pudding as I was, I barely heard the lock in the door turn. It was faint, almost non-existent. I still jumped out of my skin at the sound of it, though. Thank God I didn't drop the pudding.

Edward opened the door and crossed into the threshold of the home. His blonde hair- as usual- was pulled up into a ponytail. He strode purposefully across the room, not even glancing in my direction. I peeked out from my tight corner to watch him from over the counter.

Into the kitchen and then to the refrigerator he went, as if guided by some mysterious force that always worked against us pudding-thieves.

I put another spoonful of pudding in my mouth. Better to savor this last bite before he killed me.

Ed opened the fridge door slowly. Leaning on it with one arm, his golden eyes scanned the shelves expectantly.

_Don't notice.... don't notice... _I silently prayed.

He frowned in confusion; his eyes re-checking the shelves they'd already examined twice. He looked away from the fridge, scanned the kitchen, and looked back at the fridge again. With his frown still in place, Ed shut the refrigerator door as slow as he'd opened it. He looked around the kitchen again, and from over the counter our eyes met.

Oh. Crap.

With reflexes only seen in movies I ducked down and squished myself back into my corner; somehow thinking I could turn invisible if I tried hard enough. I looked down at my precious, precious pudding cup. There was still at least half of it left. If I ate quickly-

Ed rounded the corner into the front room.

He saw me.

I gulped. One of the first things I'd learned about Edward was that if an obstacle was between him and what he wanted, he'd tear down whatever stood in his way with his bare hands. And at this moment, he wanted to enjoy a delicious pudding snack.

One guess who stood- er, sat- in his way.

With '_Intent to Kill'_ written in bold print across his face, I flashed him a panicked smile.

He looked at me like I was Satan incarnate. No words were exchanged between us. No words were needed. The cup in my hands and the look on my face were enough to tell him what I'd done. And the look on his face was enough to tell me that I had about three seconds to make my escape.

3...

2...

1...

With a growl he lunged across the room at me. I squealed and scrambled along the wall. I climbed to my feet just as he hit the floor.

"Get back here you rotten pudding thief!" He yelled. Instead of responding, I just ran for the door and vaulted over the couch. Crap! I had misjudged the distance between the couch and the floor and collapsed with a startled _OOMF!_. I scrambled to my feet again, having abandoned the pudding some time ago.

I hate to say it, but sometimes your own life is more important than a serving of good- oh man it was _so good_- pudding. The fall had stalled me for a second- only a second- but it was a second too much. With a ferocious growl Edawrd dropped from the back of the couch and tackled me to the ground.

"Ouch! Ed get off!" I yelled, face in the floor. He grabbed my arm and pulled in behind my back.

"Not until you give me my damn pudding!"

"_Never_!"

"Fine! But remember, you brought this upon yourself!" There was a flash of blue light. I half-turned and looked at him. He had a rope. Oh dear Jesus he had a rope.

"LOOK A HOMUNCULOUS!" I yelled, pointing behind him. I could see that it immediately startled him.

"A- what?" He turned and looked. I seized the opportunity.

"You let your guard down, small fry!" I pulled myself out from underneath him, and shoved both my feet against his chest, sending him flying backwards (flying, leaning him back a few inches, what's the difference?). With a triumphant laugh I ran to the door.

"Damn you!" He cursed, standing.

"Bahaha!" With that final laugh I raced out the door. He'd never catch me now.

Weeeeell....not exactly. I heard a feral roar, and the ground was suddenly approaching very fast as a force slammed into my legs.

"_You're not getting away so easily!"_

I rolled and faced him, incredelous. "Can't you just give up?" He growled in response. "Gah! Get off meh!" I kicked and wriggled. Ed held fast, his golden eyes filled with burning determination. He jumped off. I was free!

Or... So I thought.

He grabbed my legs and pulled me back into the room. I struggled as hard as I could, but his strong hands held me fast.

"God dammit!" I squealed. My hands flailed around, trying to find something to grab on to; with no luck. "Let me go!"

"Not... until... you pay for the pudding!" He grunted through gritted teeth. I stopped struggling and whined.

"Fine, I'll buy you more pudding!" He instantly dropped my feet. Let this be a lesson to everyone:

Don't mess with Ed's pudding.

_**A/N: I felt bad for not updating, and I found this in some of my old files. I have been sick (again) and thus I decided to post this because I feel really bad about not updating.**_

_**(It's tonsillitis this time. It's never just 'the flu' with me. Bah)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Edo-chanluv**_


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